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I Started With The Best Intentions

by Goodbye Fairground

/
1.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare it just feels good to finally see a friendly face strangers stay strangers in this town no matter how hard they may try rule #1 is: never talk to strangers rule #2 is: barely talk at all I’ve been in this room for too long wasted my days on beer and sleep please show me all your favourite places or don’t if you keep them secret I only beg for your company because I can’t stand being alone and in all honesty it’s just you don’t wake up here thanking god that you are still alive you just go back to sleep and pray he’ll let you wake up somewhere else this town is dead, this town is rotting like all those car wrecks and old trees the broken fences, empty stables ruins and hidden rails and that is where your house is at right by the tracks and passing trains four nails to hold this house together let’s hope it never rains again tell me would you still keep on trying if I told you how it ends? I’ve seen so many places but they don’t feel like home.
2.
Western Gold 03:20
Saturday morning so what’s left of lust and romance? A stale taste of beer, coffee and useless conversations glasses filled with ashes and cigarette butts I never thought we would get far and it seems I was right digging through numbers trying to picture the faces thinking of quotes that I read on bathroom doors most of them suck now that I’m sober but sadly some of them seem to fit perfectly and I realize that it’s been long since I had a drink only for the taste of it again I woke up the same guy in the same shirt and jeans so if these are my best years why didn’t you tell me before? Maybe I would have enjoyed them more Saturday night we’re trying to find a place to stay make new friends and lose them all in about an hour don’t allow yourself to stop or otherwise you’ll start thinking and nobody here likes a sad face surprise, surprise guess who is on the phone you don’t pick it up maybe you already know I’ve become the legendary friend of a friend yes, we’ve met before and last time you liked me a bunch of saints on birth control waiting for absolution late night calls and Western Gold nobody here knows who you are so feel free to be yourself no matter how miserable that is because I’m glad that I have you even though you don’t know me by name.
3.
In sneakers and suits in tight jeans and make up it’s golden, it’s great and we’re all overdressed tell me you’re bored but you have to admit you’ve never seen anything as pretty as this there are rules that we follow there are facts that we know we dance like we’re dancers with gently closed eyes it’s time for drinks here those two are on me cheers to another night without sleep you want me to smile while I lie to your face yes, I’m feeling right at home in this place and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at least not tonight I never thought I could ever spend so many thoughts on something that is meant to mean nothing going to sleep in someone else’s bed is not the problem the problem is waking up there the next morning maybe this is over but we’ll get over it.
4.
We all grew up around here we know this place like the back of our hands every stool and every table so pass another pint, another glass another bottle and let’s drink to sadness keep the bed warm, baby and I’ll be on my way we are married to the girls on the playing cards our jokes are old, most of them are even older than us but we keep telling them like the chorus of a song that everybody knows and wants to join in I don’t know what’s right but I know what feels like it booze has created this voice these words, this situation and I know damn well that this won’t be enough but I’m heading home now to explain and/or apologize those broken promises and lost intentions I never meant to cause you pain but we’ll have another round and we’ll drink to drinking to drinking alone and drinking with friends friends we only know by nicknames do you remember the last things that she said? She asked “if this is a game then where’s my funny hat my toy gun and my fake police badge?” She said “life goes on and I am gone now”.
5.
Lean back, breathe in and taste the tar on your tongue safety is a dream we’ll probably never wake up from take my hand, the one that I’ve clenched in my pocket it takes a second to build this and a lifetime to wreck it you want to believe in every word I say and believe me I want it to be true so I’ve decided to keep quiet but keeping quiet is lying for saints and I’m not much of a saint sit back, look at this mess and still find some beauty in it look at me in the same way, tell me it’s fine and maybe I will believe it I’ve got some good ideas of what to say but it’s like someone has pasted up my jaws and broken our spines on our way to the top burnt our tents, killed our horses and put us back on start.
6.
The drums started pounding so suddenly when the marching band filled the street with people dancing to tunes they had not heard in a while but they knew every word in every line and in a better world with me as a better man she just would have been one of them another girl in a crowd, dancing in the shade and not the center of the whole parade I heard trumpets tooting when I saw her the first time I should have known that she wasn’t alone that night but alcohol and heat turn cowards into heroes who don’t even ask if heroes are needed I was stumbling and stuttering like a drunk I tried to act cool like a moron she smiled for a second then turned her back on me some people never learn and I don’t know how many boys have died for her but I know I wouldn’t mind to be the next in line and I bet that she’s stopped counting long time ago she said “sip before you spill your drink” suddenly life was put on mute I felt the pain before I even felt the punch before my head hit the gutter and I filled it with my blood before he closed my eyes.
7.
I started with the best intentions and finally ended up here where the coins always fall on the wrong side and no one is ever sincere until they turn their heads and realize it’s much too late to save the best for last they’ve got more shops than people here and each one sells the same puzzles made of shattered dreams and the glue to make them last again until another kid or ex-boyfriend smashes them to pieces they’re hanging on the wall you can see they will all fall down they’re taking pride in the little things in life I’ve seen better places in my worst nightmares but this town is breeding it’s still breeding.
8.
Wrapped in duct tape and frayed, old cardboard covered in foil lies all I’ve left behind photos of good times, a ring, a contract tell me who needs this tell me you need it but who goes to sleep alone awakes alone and nothing is ever going to change that even if all else has failed I still got hope you’ll start a new tally tommorow that’s why I’m on my way back home and it will end the way it always ends I’ll be sitting by myself with the last drink in my hand and I do think it’s really sad that every evening ends up like that this city is made of tobacco and that’s all there is to know I hate this place for all it has to offer me that’s why I’m finally coming home I’m writing you because I think you’ve go to know it never stops I’ll never stop.
9.
She took the last train out off this ghost town without even waving goodbye I know she’ll never come back and still I wonder where she’s gonna sleep tonight she has never known love all she knows are the photos and tapes of those who have stranded here ready to spend another night with tourists, young actors, ex-lovers and bankers they should paint skulls and bones on every door because this town is a beast and it’s roaring for more nicotine eyes they’re holding tightly to the necks of their bottles drink it down, drink it down, drink it… a bunch of zombies in a motel waiting for the truckers to get lost in this ghost town they have never known fear all they know is the look on the faces of those who have stranded here play it loud or play it safe if you really wanted to they’d be listening to you right now but you might as well get back in and order one more and tell yourself you wouldn’t have failed.
10.
Oh, how romantic you’re dressed in your boxers sitting on your bed playing acoustic guitar you could write the best song in the world but she wouldn’t hear it she only listens to songs to dance to because she wants to dance with him that’s what the movies are about same old plot but still the premiere is sold out the crowd applauds and the curtains go down good times pass that’s what makes them so good do you remember when you said “I only want her to be happy”? Well, now she is and do you remember when you told her “I respect you and your decisions”? This decision is her’s and you only make it worse oh, how romantic you’re watching the sunset alone laying on the grass you’re counting stars and planes you could write the best poem in the world but she wouldn’t read it she’d send it back there is nothing you can do.
11.
Sometimes it takes a journey to learn closed doors and wrong decisions late night walks and semi-wise words like I don’t regret anything so tell me don’t you ever worry that the things you do for a living and the theories you believe in are not really that brilliant don’t you ever feel the need to change things for the better even though things are not really bad just normal because I did don’t you ever ask for a face to the name you already know when you beg for him to save you and he never seems to show don’t you ever ask yourself if this is really it or if there’s anything or anyone any time or any place just perfect because I did and all I know is I don’t want to die where I was born all I know is that I’ve never been sincere and that I don’t need anyone to cry when I’m gone I need someone to smile while I’m still here.

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Buy the LP or CD at the following stores: Concrete Jungle Records, Green Hell, Flight13, Interpunk, JPC, Amazon
Digital Downloads: Musicload, iTunes, Amazon

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released March 29, 2013

Written and performed by Goodbye Fairground
Recording and mixing by Jochen Stummbillig
Mastering by Glen Nicholls
Released by Concrete Jungle Records
11 Tracks, 37:57 min.

www.goodbyefairground.com
www.concretejunglerecords.com
www.kaputtmacher-tonstudio.de

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Goodbye Fairground Germany

Goodbye Fairground. Punk Rock from Germany.

Get our stuff at This Charming Men Records: bit.do/goodbyefairground

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